Wednesday, April 22, 2015

So Many Things Happened

I've been away for a while because so many things keep happening to me.

I would really treasure some time on my own for a while where I can just sleep and read books and look at a beautiful piece of nature. I'm not likely to get this any time soon, so I'm dealing with what I have.

My kids were both in the hospital, but are fine now. That was such a stressful time for me and we don't have any family near us to help, but I say that as if our family would help if they were closer, which they wouldn't. So it's much less of a loss than I would like.

My children are quite bright and have noticed that their grandparents seem less interested in them than watching grass grow, so periodically I need to reassure them that I will always be there.

My kids will ask things like, "You will visit us when we move out." or "If we have babies you'll come to see them often, right?" Often with a twinge of fear that we may simply abandon them for something else.

I have no idea why my family is so emotionally distant. I have some damn good guesses, but not any concrete answers. That would take some therapy, which is just not going to happen with these people.

The only thing I can do is create for my kids what I would have wanted as a child. A nice, safe, secure home where they are loved.

I definitely screw up, but they call me on it and I own it, which helps them. It also helps that every person in my house sees or has seen a therapist. It's helpful to get someone else's insight into your own crap. I think that the reason I have yet to go off the deep end is the fact that I will go see a therapist when the need arises.


I also try to keep up on my many, many, many coping strategies for stress. I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder so when things go topsy turvey in my life I need to remember to do the yoga, neuro-feedback, jogging, baking, etc. that I need to do to stay this side of sane...just barely.

So to all the parents out there on their own with grandparents that are too busy in the garden to help out and kids that are a challenge, just remember that wine is a great relaxant and time keeps moving forward.

Hugs & Love
Suzanne

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