When A Longterm Disease Isn't All Bad

I laugh and smile more than anything else. My daughter pointed out to me tonight that the reason she thinks I’m so happy is because compared to my childhood everything must seem like a great day.

I was sick for 9 years with a horrible disease that had me practically narcoleptic most days, foggy brained, gaining weight while I was on diets, nightly hot flashes in my 30s, basically not super functional. Yet, that is still not a bad bunch of years.

My daughter was saying that for most people they talk about how terrible their diseases were. How they destroyed their lives. For me, those days were still great when compared to my youth, so I took the whole thing with a grain of salt. I’m well now so I just look forward.

She had me almost falling out of my chair laughing at how ludicrous it is that this is how I view my life. If I’m not surrounded by horrible people then it’s a great day.

I can’t imagine living any other way. I’m just happy to be where I am and have my funny, kind and loving family. I don’t deal with people who are mean or unkind because I don’t have to, so it’s great. It’s all a matter of perspective.

Scottish Love

My favorite place on this earth is Edinburgh, Scotland.

The reason for this is that Scotland was a place of many firsts for me. I went to Edinburgh the first time with my friend who I visited during her semester abroad in the UK. It was my favorite part of the trip.

It was the first time I drank Dramboie, which is my favorite liquor. It's whiskey and honey and comes from the Isle of Skye, which makes it even more magical. It tastes like home to me.

It was the first time boys that didn't know me smiled at me on the street. This may seem weird, but I tended to walk around looking like I wanted to stab someone, so the fact that these cute boys smiled at me and flirted was a real win and showed that they weren't easily cowed.

It was the first time I realized how silly it was to drive to so many places in Los Angeles, when we could just walk. Of course, I didn't have a car when I visited and I walked the entire town. This really highlighted to me the over dependence on cars in Los Angeles.

It was also the first time I visited a place where the people were universally sweet to me. The shop keepers were kind, the B&B folks amenable, the strangers in the street smiled. After living with my crazy ass parents and growing up in LA, I had no idea that this type of magical place even existed. It gave me hope for the future.

It was the first time I saw guys in kilts and let me tell you, there is nothing better. If I ruled the world men would all wear kilts because they are the cutest, sexiest, handsomest piece of clothing a man can wear. I wanted to have my husband wear a kilt when we got married. I couldn't get him to agree, but he now owns two utilikilts so I'm a winner in the end.

I would love to live in Scotland, but I don't know if that's in my future. I will always honor the magical land that taught me so much about the good things in the world.

First Friendship

When I was 14 I started my sophomore year of high school in Woodland Hills at an all girls, private, catholic high school.

It was the first time I felt safe in my entire life. It was wonderful.

I had lost weight and grown two inches over the summer between my freshman and sophomore years and so I started the year with a lot of confidence and excitement. My mother was finally okay with my appearance, which was a huge relief for me.

On my very first day I was nervous, but excited, just like we all are. But at the end of the day I was given a huge gift of friendship.

I was walking out of my last class of the day, world history, and I was so excited with all that we would be learning, but a bit sad because no one had really talked to me all day. As I was walking down the walkway a girl called my name from behind me. She had just stepped out of the world history room and this cute, tall, brown haired girl was calling my name. I was surprised, stopped and turned to talk to her.

Her name is Andrea and she has been a friend to me for so many, many years. We lose touch for a bunch of years and then we talk again. It's nice and amazing to me.

No matter who else I was friends with in High School I was always also friends with Andrea. She is kind and generous and so easy to talk to. She introduced me to my soul mate and husband, so I will always be grateful to her for that along with the gift of her friendship.

So while my home life was a nightmare I always could count on Andrea and run to her house when needed. Her friendship has meant so much to me. She is also the person who took photos of my friendships through high school. Without her picture taking I would have many fewer physical reminders of those days. I've always been a terrible photo taker and an grateful for Andrea's prowess in this area.

So this is one of the good things that happened to me as a child. I made a good friend. I had never really  had one before and it was somewhat of a mystery to me as to how to navigate a true friendship. It was mostly Andrea being a good friend and keeping the lines of communication open or reaching out to me when I fell off the face of the earth.

From Andrea I learned that a big part of friendship is being there for someone  and reminding them when they forget.